From the words of Brad Paisley

"Man, it has been one of those days
When I have been thinking pour me
I have no right to complain…"

Parker expresses how I have felt. As if living alone with a peeper creeper and failing at finding a job isn't enough...I would like to add a car accident to the tally...

And to top it off...It was my fault :(

The irony...I was thinking on the way down how grateful I should be because unlike Rachel, I haven't been in a car accident. You see my roommate Rachel has been struggling with road blocks a lot in her life between her job, living at Windsor Park during the peak with the peeper creeper, and a break-up. But of course that wasn't enough to suffer through in three weeks so was in a car accident (her fault as well). So here I was sympathising with her and being grateful know my life could always get worse.
The accident occurred on I-15 on my way to SLC. It was heavy traffic. It looked to be finally clearing up and all lanes started to accelerate to freeway speed. But then all of the sudden (like in 3 seconds) my lane came to a dead stop. Between the cars rushing on both lanes to the side of me, it took me a second to register I need to break. By the time I did, it was too late. Luckily the lady I hit was really nice and wasn't injured. We preceded to the side of the freeway to wait for the highway patrol to get there for an accident report.

Later this evening I thought of Brad Paisley's song "One of Those Lives" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqI-QUheGKs) and thought it could still always be worse. And felt a overwhelming feeling to express everything I am grateful for, so here it goes...

1) I am grateful for my parents and their endless support and love no matter how many times I make mistakes. Their desire and ability to help me whether it is temporal or spiritual. I love them SO much and know I can never truly express how grateful I am Heavenly Father sent me to them.

2) I am grateful for my brothers and sisters. They are always there to provide a new perspective to my life, mostly a sarcastic point of view. I love that I am the youngest and go to them for their years of experience or advice...or pure common sense.

3) I am grateful for the police. I have a lot of positive experiences with them lately between the peeper creeper and this car accident. Today the cop didn't give a ticket for the accident...only a warning. He said he appreciated my honesty with the accident and admitting fault. I know not getting a ticket my sound so stupid and small...but this act seriously gave me a little hope in my future :) and my luck turning around.

4) I am grateful for my phone. It is a small technical advance that keeps me sane by staying in contact with my family asap and providing contact to someone who can help during dangerous situations. It allows me to express myself to people I know who care and will listen on the other side.

5) I am grateful for my friends. I have been so blessed to have amazing friends. Jill sent me a text saying we will make it through this week. I know she is fighting to get through this week and I know we are there for each other through it all. And after the accident I went to my friend Diana's house (from nursing school) and just talked to her for hours. She just listened to me and kept giving me hugs. It was exactly what I needed at the time!!

6) I am grateful for my health. Even though we have had some bumps and bruises along the way...I am still alive. I am grateful for no real harm coming to me and the lady in the car accident today. I am grateful for my family's health and having the ability to have them all here with me right now.

7) I am grateful for the roommates I have met here in Windsor Park. Jennifer has been a joy and makes me feel like I am hilarious. We have become best friends in less than 2 weeks. We can talk for hours and have learned so much about each other. She is going home tomorrow and I am sad to see her go but truly know it is the best for her right now in her life. Rachel has been such a strength to me. She is one of the sweetest girls I have met and her heart is full of service. She doesn't look badly on people who speak ill towards her and that is trait I would love to rub off on to me. I feel I will get to know her even better in the next couple of weeks. Even though she doesn't live her, she is still an active member of the ward. Tomorrow we will be going together to an activity. I really am grateful for the opportunity to meet both of them in my life.

8) I could go on for hours. Not the last or least...I am grateful for the gospel, priesthood, and being taught true standards. I am grateful for my Heavenly Father and I have faith in the plan He has for me. I know right now I feel like I am hanging on to a thread...actually, more like a tissue...but I know there is more for me. I am meant to do more and be more. I still have a long life to live with more trenches to climb through. But I feel strong knowing no matter what, I have my Heavenly Father guiding and directing. And with this, I know I will make it!!

Halloween = Dance Parties!!

This Halloween was Awesome...and by Halloween, I mean the weekend prior to the actual holiday when there was are tons of dance parties.

Erin came from Idaho to visit for the weekend. It was my first time seeing her since she left on her mission!! It was like old times minus a few people. Jill, Erin, and I hit the town in search of awesome Dance Parties to dance the night away. We had the hardest time figuring out what to wear and finally decided on super heroes. But we weren't any super hero in particular...we just put our initial on the back of our crapes. You wouldn't believe how much attention this drew. On night we made a pit stop at a grocery store in our costumes and we became best friends with like 10 strangers by the time we left. Who knew?

The first dance party was Friday night at Alpine Village in their underground parking lot. The music started off a little weird with some techno but eventually came around. Towards the end of the night we were dancing in the front middle where all we could hear was the music and all we could feel was sweat (sadly, not just our own).

Saturday night we headed out for another great night filled with dancing. The Halloween before we all (and by that I mean the girls of 207) went to the Loft. It is a dance club on Center Street in Provo. We thought we would revisit this club because last time was such a hit. When we got in we were sad to see it had gone down hill...it was filled with hardly anyone and the people who were there were couples. We needed to find a way out and for some reason Jill and Erin thought I would be the best person to convince the front desk person to give us our money back. I obviously couldn't just go up and say "your party is lame. Can we have our money back?" So we (or should I say I) came up with a way to stretch the truth. Having two lawyers in the family has taught me how to properly word things as to not lie but guide the person in believing what I want him to hear (aka the action of manipulating). So I carefully worded a story that sounded like my roommate called the cops, we have a peeper creeper, she is scared, and she needs to me come. All of which is true and had happened that day. I know...I am going to hell. But hey, we got our money back.

With that, we were off to another party in Provo in some one's backyard. It was fun!! But this was by far the worse when it came to guys believing it was ok to grab a girl's butt or dance in someone else's personal space (and that is putting it nicely). If you take out the pervs...it was a lot of fun hanging out with the girls and running into old friends. Hanging out with Jill and Erin this weekend just made me really excited for January and all the new memories to come.

I ran into Mike and Ryan a lot during this weekend. Most of my Orem friends would express their shock of me going to a dance party, but than the comment was normally followed by statement expressing how that wasn't the typical hang out activity they would do. Thus answer there question to who is this Megan I have never met before.

The best part is...by the time Halloween actually got here, I was exhausted!! I ended up just hanging out at Jarom's and watching a scaring movie with some friends.

"Say your prayers and go to bed"

Whelp...I am back in Utah. After applying for and receiving my Utah RN license, I knew it was time. I had been looking for a job in California, but the hospitals aren't really new grad friendly. I found myself being rejected from job to job with notes of returning once I have a year to two of experience. But it wasn't just this struggle that kicked me back to Utah. Before graduating, I took every chance to run back home to California to my family...it was MY home!! Now that I finally returned, I realized I had created a second home in Utah and I missed it!! I missed my friends!! This was such a new feeling to me and a shock. Who knew I had it in me to be social and miss not being social with friends...none of my high school friends would believe it either. :) So on October 20th I packed up the necessities and headed back to the place I wasn't ever planning on returning too on a permanent basis. Side Note: With no where to live and no job on the other end.

What has life been like since I have been here?

My dad said it well in a text..."Say your prayers and go to bed"

I have really felt every night I go to bed being grateful for what I have and praying for guidance with the unsettled things in my life. The first on my list was to find a place to live. This was actually really hard since I was wanting to live with Ms. Erin and Ms. Jillian in January. We ended up finding a complex we want to live...Lanai. It is just southeast of BYU Campus and known for its social ward. It appears to be an older King Henry atmosphere. We originally signed contracts in three different apartments because we wanted to be in this ward. But we got news today that an apartment just opened with three contracts together...WE ARE SO EXCITED!! I needed to find a place until then, so I was in search of a single with a contract just until mid December. I had asked my Aunt Elizabeth in American Fork if I could crash there. It seemed perfect...I would be living with family I loved and adored that didn't live too far from my social life in Orem/Provo. After sealing the deal I had this overwhelming feeling I made the wrong decision. I was instantly confused why this wasn't right. Later that day I toured an apartment I was interested in a couple days before. It was a really nice apartment west of BYU campus and super close to Bulldog. It was $25o a month for a good size single with two other roommates. It was right in between my provo and orem friends. I was super excited and felt great about moving in. So that night I sealed the deal and moved in the next day, Wednesday October 26th.

Let me tell you...it is NEVER a good sign when your roommate gets home and the first thing she says to you is "I have to tell you something!! Scott, the management, threatened to sue me for deformations if I told you but I don't care. You need to know!" I came to find out there has been a problem with a Peeping Tom sitting out the windows doing naughty things while eating candy during the middle of the night. There has been several occurrences with him coming and some even with him entering the apartment. I was like "oh, great" and some people said my Liahona was broken. I will have to tell the Horror Stories of Windsor Park in another post. But staying safe from Peeper Creeper (or Creeper Peeper...obviously interchangeable) has not been the only thing in my prayers lately...

I might of had a minor break down the other day. Even though coming to Utah was the right decision for me, I have been trying so hard to find my new place as a single Registered Nurse College Graduate out here. I came out here on the faith this was where I am suppose to be right now in my life and praying for everything to come together. But it just isn't that easy. I feel like every time I find a open door to lead me somewhere, it gets slammed in my face. I am sure everyone has felt this at some point in their life and I need to have faith everything will work out. I know I am putting too much of who I am into everything I do and I can't feel like a failure when it doesn't work out. I am mainly experiencing this in finding a job. I have always known I wanted to be a nurse. School and passing my boards was not the only obstacle in my way of making this dream true. In fact, they were easy because I was the one in control of the outcome. I am not in control of someone hiring me and paying me to represent them as a nurses. I HATE THIS!! When will one of my five job applications a day be the one job I finally get? Why can't the employers see the potential I know I have? Why does every person and their friend have to compete with me for a job? In an interview last week the employer pulled out this folder with a two inch stack of other resumes and asked me why I deserved this job over these applicants. Seriously??? Job hunting just sucks...that is all I can say!!! I do have one lead right now. The Director of the Woman's Center at Timpanogos has informed me of a temporary position that will be available in Labor & Delivery. I have been in contact with her for a couple of months trying to get a job with her. So of course I am going to apply...I have wanted to be a Labor & Delivery Nurse since I was 12 years old. It wasn't until my experience with the NICU, I realized I have a passion for premature infants as well. I have a friend who is working in L&D for Timp right now who has told me horror stories about training. There is this girl who has been training for over two months and is still struggling. The nurses are getting frustrated with training her because she just isn't getting it. My friend said she now understands why nurses should train in postpartum before L&D...she has me terrified that I won't succeed if I get this job. But then I reminded myself (with the help of my mom) that I won't let that happen. I have the motivation and determination to succeed, especially in Labor & Delivery. I just need to have faith in myself and I do!! I am not saying it will be easy. I just know I can do this and I can't let people scare me into thinking otherwise (not that I think she was trying to do that, but my insecurities were).

So with all of this and the fact I had just learned I will be living in the Peeper Creeper apartment ALL BY MYSELF starting this weekend until December...I might of lost it for a little bit. But all is good now and I feel ready to continue tackling my life with faith I will make the right decisions. I am excited to be back in Utah and with my friends!! :)